MeanInc

For the past 5 or so years I have been thinking about meaning. Specifically, meaning at work. In fact, I have had real trouble with it. This unhappiness meant I constantly fought depression, which ultimately led me to take the sabbatical I'm on now.

I'm finally piecing some answers together and I want to talk about this a lot more, but I thought I'd include a post which is actually a paraphrased e-mail I wrote to someone 2 years ago. It sounds jolly, but deep down I was in trouble.

It can be a starting point.

27th May 2005

Seriously, what's it all about? What are we meant to do with our lives? What is meaningful? No I mean, really. Is it this? Is this meaningful? Can't I even e-mail you now?

What then? Is sport meaningful? Possibly. But not the way I play, unfortunately. It's not religion surely? Not for me anyway, unless I get really desperate.

Work? Not management consultancy, I assure you. My last job was a ridiculous sham, for which I will feel eternal shame. The private sector may be better, but do you really want to be remembered for selling more beans?

So how about focusing on the ridiculous amount of money you earn doing it? Surely, it can't be about that though? Or can it? Is our mission simply to provide for our future children? But how much money do they need? Do they need Nike trainers and private school? But my childhood was wracked with worry over money, so there must be a balance.

But what happens if I just opt out? Will I be less happy? Won't women ignore me? That would solve the children problem. But won't it mean just giving in and not resolving these issues?

Is there a book I should be reading? I read 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' already. And 'Who moved my cheese'? Now, that really was toss.

Should I devote my life to others? Won't I end up just feeling like a tit? Everyone who works for a charity says it's shit anyway.

Of course, my Grandad wouldn't talk like this. But he'd saved the world from the Nazis and had 4 daughters by my age. It's easy to be modest when you've done that. I have some swimming badges, a certificate from Crufts and a nice stereo.

Because I don't really know where to start I just procrastinate and dither like an old woman at the post office. And if I don't act soon that's exactly what I'll be. Well not exactly, but you get my point.