Sunday, 3 June 2007

Alphagel, Alphamale

I don't use soap or shaving cream to shave, oh no, but 'Alphagel'. Alphagel is not even gel to be honest, but 'Shaving software' with 'shave surface enhancing technology'. Yesiree Bob.

This is matched by my shower gel which is called 'activeSHOWER' which has been 'developed with athletes'. Opposed to, presumably, developing it with the infirm, the crippled or those with smelly discharges.

My deodorant has been changed recently from 'Right Guard' to 'Sure for Men'. Fortunately, Sure for Men has been 'designed to meet the demands of a male body'. Which is nice, because apart from a good run, hot showers, teeth cleaning and the occasional glimpse of nipple, I didn't think my body had that many demands.

However, when I was in the gym today I noticed what the effect of this macho set of responses to the demands of my male body had produced:

I smelt a bit like a packet of Refreshers.

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