The challenge

Went for dinner near Borough Market this evening with a single (female) friend. She was bemoaning the lack of single, available men in their 30s and I was doing my usual incredulous thing. Walk into any bar or club or pub in London and it will be PACKED with men, I said. Women have just got used to this state of affairs, that's all.

Which I still stand by.

However, she then suggested holding a dinner party and that I invite 7 single blokes and she invites 7 single sheilas and let the chemistry commence...

but I couldn't think of any. Well I can think of 3 or 4. Shit! What happened?

If anyone knows any single men in their 30s can they please post them to me at home in time for either 3rd or 10th November.

Thank you.

Wife material

What is wife material would you say? I mean, husband material is clearly gore tex. It's reliable, hard wearing and will keep you safe and dry - every girl's dream.

But wife material? Silk would be nice, and if it was socially acceptable I would wear silk underwear every day. Costanza would wear only velvet and I can see his point. But both are unsuitable as a wife material. It's the equivalent of marrying a glamour model; great to begin with but ultimately it can never work.

Lycra? Too scary. Wool? Too right wing. Hemp? Too left wing. Cotton? Maybe... yes, I could marry cotton. Or linen, could that work?

But what about these new hybrid materials as a wife material?

To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld when describing his shirt: "Half silk, half cotton, half linen, how can you go wrong?"

A DATE

Well, I don't really talk about dates, but given that I've been so stupidly busy for so long that's mainly because I haven't actually been on one. In fact I have barely been out let alone spoken to GIRLS, so I may as well celebrate the fact that I have finally been on a date. ** rapturous applause ** Yes, I thank you, I thank you!

And it was actually quite good! She cooked me swordfish, we drank champagne (3 bottles, ouch) and she looked like a bit like Juliette Binoche! In fact by the end she looked a LOT like Juliette Binoche.

Sadly I think she is utterly insane, so perhaps not wife material, but then I only ever wear blue shirts and the other day I bought a CHOCOLATE one, so you never know what might happen.

I want to take you to a Gay Bar

Come on. Come with me.

Internet Dating

I have a friend who is internet dating. Let's call her Elaine Benes, because she's choosy and picky about all men, just like Elaine.

Anyway, she is currently struggling to find any men who are a) funny and b) don't use emoticons.

I am sympathetic to this, as surely using emoticons if you're a man is just one step away from having wheels on your suitcase and sharing an umbrella with another man.

Just a little too delightful.