I'm a survivor...

I'm not gon' stop, I'm gon' work harder.

Well I'm not because firstly I'm going to have a ruddy good sit down. Phew. That was long, difficult and unpleasant, like a James Joyce novel. I had to lie on my sofa for 3 days afterwards - it's funny how tiredness builds and how much our bodies are under the control of our brains. Mine basically ordered me to rest.

I'm not sure what I learned from the whole thing, but certainly now I'm thinking like a psychologist. I can't prove this of course, but the likelihood of my hypothesis occurring by chance is less than 5%.

And now, a new plan.

So...

In we go. My daring (well, it feels daring to me) 5 year career change plan effectively takes me up to the end of these exams, which finish next Tuesday. So I'll be needing a new one. This one has left me poorer, older, tireder, but wiser, happier and more hopeful.

One last hideous leg to get through first. See you on the other side...and now one last reminder, the world's greatest ever advert, of what we should all be trying to do beause frankly VERY SOON WE'LL ALL BE DEAD:

Some revision stats

Now, I like a good statistic, but not as much as Dan, so given the customer-centric nature of this blog here are some stats to help him out. He requested some information about my revision. Now, revision is somewhat subjective, and much of what I'm doing is learning for the first, not second, time. We called this 'vising' not 'revision', and the estimated vising / revision ratio is:

80:20

For every 1 item of knowledge I knew (and revised) I am learning 4 new items (vised).

Other figures:

Estimated number of hours vised / revised to date: 210 (21/34 days total)
Estimated hours to go: 130 (11 days to go)
Total time elapsed: 62%
Total info memorised (vised): 50%
Procrastination %: 20% (per day)
Procrastination % (total since start of vision): 40%
Average number of hours at desk: 12
Hours at desk today: 14
Panic factor: 3/10 (rising)
Boredom factor: 8/10 (falling)

I wanted to show an upward curve of effort to time but my excel skills are now so limited I kept on producing a graph which had % vised totalling 200% by the exams - which Iassure you is not the case. Pathetic. Dan, help.

A rough breakdown of time spent per day is as follows:

Exam time

So, for the third time in as many years I brace myself for exams. It's ridiculous at my age, but at least I can see light at the end of the tunnel: these should be the last exams I ever do. However, it doesn't hide te fact that I have to battle with exams. I don't keep up with work, like a diligent girl, I cram like a proper man. So when the exams roll around, I have to lock them in mortal combat. I grapple with them, like a sweaty sumo wrestler, losing all dignity and perspective along the way.














I make hugely complex work plans and stick to them. I cease contact with the outside world. I eat well and exercise. I talk to myself. I sing along to music. The radio becomes my best friend. Contact with shop owners is an event to savour. I constantly have to force myself back to my desk. Waking up is depressing.

Will it be worth it? I don't know. But I have put my heart and soul into finding the right route for me. So I assume that I won't be going far wrong in terms of doing what I am good at. And if I am doing what I am good at, then exams should be easy.

Enough procrastination. Prepare for a lot of psychology related posts. See you on the other side.