Meaning at work

A fascinating article in today's Times about a man who left a highly paid position at Microsoft to go and do something more meaningful. On the way he lost his girlfriend and all his savings. Ooh, a bit like me then!

An historical documentation

Here is my desk on my last day.

Historians may wish to note the Serco mug ('bringing service to life') usually filled with lukewarm tea and a sweetener. Fairly cluttered, but not without some structure. Lots of wires. An ipod charging and pen on left hand side. There would be a twice weekly to do list with reasonably high level tasks rather than the 'Call Sylvia' type. Don't even know who Sylvia is.

The phone - I never did work out how to transfer someone or make it accept numbers for those wretched automated switch boards. So I just held on, driving the system mad and eventually you get through to a person. I wonder if this is how Buddhists feel - so in tune with their powerlessness they regain all the power and control. A wallet falling beneath my papers. Twice I left it on the desk for someone to hand in.

My PC. Lost its ability to go left and a little grubby, but served me well. God knows what I'm working on there. I wonder if life for anyone, anywhere would have been any different thanks to my efforts. Probably not.

Outside, the lovely tree mocking the impermanence of management consultants. At lunch time I'd go out and agree with it.

Things I'll miss

The view from my desk at Richmond.

The Friday feeling. The first cup of tea of the day, before anyone else arrives. Meetings which you feel achieve something. The money. The feeling of belonging. Some of the people. The spam (I love spam, I quite often read it and find it hilarious). Erm. The times when the sandwiches come down from a meeting. The times when you're busy but know you can do something. The times when you're not busy so you can look out of the window.

The times when you look back on 10 years and think well, that was OK, but now I am shutting my PC down and leaving it here on the desk and walking outside to go and do something more than OK.

A door closes

After 4 years slogging away for Serco - I was 8th in and maybe 208th out - I left today. My ten year career in consulting is now over and I embark on a new adventure tomorrow.

It was a funny way to go. I was the last one to leave the office, after a really hectic day. I simply logged off, left my PC and pass on a desk, and walked out the door.

It was dark and cold when I left and the door locks behind you when you leave. I stood outside the locked door for a second, thinking about what it all meant. I wandered past the wooden submarine that sits outside our offices, which has come to symbolise my escape.

I walked along the river and on to the tube. It's the picturesque route. I hadn't taken my coat, so it was really cold and I felt my first shiver in months.

But I no longer felt tired, and I began to think about what tomorrow might bring.

The centre of my own universe

It's a bit like when you go away on holiday. Those last frantic few days before you leave, which culminate with you saying to someone - 'call me if you need to, I don't mind'.

No one calls. What's worse, when you return you ask how everything went and people barely look up from their desks to say 'Fine'.

I expected some form of recognition today. Men to be staring aimlessly at their laptops, women to be wailing and perhaps grabbing on to my ankles begging me to reconsider.

But no one did. And tomorrow no one will notice. And that's why I left.

Saying no

No I don't mean saying no to those pushy boys who try and get you into bed on a first date - the nerve! - I am talking about saying no to....

WORK.

I am not sure that anyone has ever done this in our office before, but it looks like I am going to have to try it if I want to retain my sanity.

During the course of a day I get lots of requests to do stuff, and the stock answer is just to pile them onto the plate and get gorging. Well, I can't be bothered any more.

After all, if I responded to every request to my inbox I would have:

1. A set of fake luxury watches
2. A lot of cheap viagra
3. A Russian wife
4. Shares in a Nigerian tech stock
5. A bigger penis
6. A much bigger penis

So let's see how it goes.

Today

I sat down at my desk and no one said good morning. I listened to people bragging about working through the weekend. I saw a (very attractive) sandwich lady march in, shout out 'sandwiches!' and get completely ignored.

Is this normal?

Knackered

One of the things I'd forgotten about work is how knackering it is. That's it really. I think it's the travelling bit. I don't really know why we bother. Can't we all just have a nice sit down and a cup of tea? Perhaps some jam on toast.

Ooh, toast.

Hello / Goodbye

Goodbye: uni card, text books, dodgy lecture theatres, 10am starts, statistics, £2 lunches, trainers, curiosity, Aldgate East tube station, wondering what the hell I'm doing, time to read, time to think, musty exam halls.

Hello: staff pass, suit, ironing, billable hours, timesheets, expenses, wondering what the hell I'm doing, rush hour, words like 'client facing', clients, the Friday feeling, the Monday feeling.