The end of the beginning

About 3 years ago I received an e-mail which told me about this course at Staffordshire University that would enable me to do my initial course in psychology by distance learning. I could not have done it full time, so it was a huge breakthrough. It's the only course in the country that does it. Up til then I had discounted psychology because of the huge amount of study time required and the cost. Now there seemed a way forward, even if it was remote.

So I put in place a plan which seemed so fragile at the time, so unlikely. I would go back to university, and start to learn something from scratch that would then become my profession, even though I did not know exactly what I would be doing with it. In between I would earn the money to sustain my study.

The plan involved the distance learning course, in half the time than usual, with a full time job. It then involved going back to university full time to convert my Politics degree to a psychology one. It then involved either a Master's or a Doctorate in the branch of psychology that most appealed.

I remember at the time the plan seemed ridiculous. One obstacle after another seemed insurmountable. And I didn't even know what I was going to do with it all. Surely I didn't have the energy to do all this, in my mid 30s?

In the end the plan nearly killed me, cost me a relationship, has made me much poorer; I've felt stupid in lectures crammed with 19 year olds and it has been hugely demanding in terms of energy. But every month I have done what it outlined in the plan.

The final stage in my plan starts this week. I start my Master's at Goldsmiths and leave work for good on 19th October. I am starting a supplementary course at Birkbeck as well. I have saved the money I needed. I have even found a clear direction for a career in psychology (my own business).

I can't believe it, but I've done it. It looked weird on a spreadsheet. But it's come to life, slowly and surely.

It's not the end of course, or the beginning of the end. But it is the end of the beginning and for that, I am truly, truly grateful.