I just wanna...

I just wanna do something special for all the ladeez in the world

Energy

Chocolate and biscuits do not give you energy. Instead they steal it, like thieves dressed as bank staff.

The best new music

I know why you all come here. The insight. The amusing anecdotes. The sexual magnetism. But also I keep you all up to date with the best new music.

Well this isn't new, but it is music. I defy you not to sing along and be happy as i have been ALL DAY. In fact, like a drug pusher at the school gates, here's your first hit: I've included lyrics, below.



Well it's a big big city and it's always the same
Can never be too pretty tell me you your name
Is it out of line if I were so bold to say "Would you be mine"?

Because I may be a beggar and you maybe the queen
I know I maybe on a downer am still ready to dream
Now it's 3 o'clock time it takes for you to talk

So if you're lonely why'd you say your not lonely
Oh your a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come
And go you know me no you don't even know me
Your so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

Well it's a big big city and the lights are all out
But it's much as I can do you know to figure you out
And I must confess, my hearts in broken pieces
And my heads a mess
And it's 4 in the morning, and I'm walking along
Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong
And it's you, woo hoo
That's got me going crazy for the things you do

So if your crazy I don't care you amaze me
Oh your a stupid girl, oh me, oh my, you talk
I die, you smile, you laugh, I cry
And only, a girl like you could be lonely
And it's a crying shame, if you would think the same
A boy like me's just irresistible

So if your lonely, why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh your a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come and go
And know me, no you don't even know me
Your so sweet to try oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

Media Pressure

My phone has been ringing hot and I know a lot of you have been speculating about this subject - not to mention the media! However, I am afraid after a lot of thought and discussion with my family and close friends, I have to rule myself out of the running for the new England Manager's job. I'm just too busy.

HMRC

So the Inland Revenue lost 25m customer records, putting that number of people at risk of fraud and thereby exposing the utter incompetence of the department.

I worked there for about a year, the most miserable year of my life. I led a team for about 6 months which did absolutely nothing, despite my best attempts to work out a meaningful goal. We probably cost the taxpayer at least £500k during that time, and all the while we were meant to tell people how much we were saving from our activities.

We weren't saving anything.

So immoral was it, that I effectively sabotaged my own career to highlight it.

HMRC must go back to basics. It should kick all the consultants out tomorrow (something I was openly saying by the end...didn't go down well). It should then decide what it does and what it needs to do in future. It should then work out a single, coherent plan as to how it can best do that. Then it should follow the plan.

But it can't. There are so many consultants and so much confusion about data that the place is reliant on outside help. People are measured by the projects they have going on, not by the value they contribute. There are so many projects that some do the same, or even the opposite, of other projects.

It is a mess. Losing 25m records is the least of its problems.

England

So sick am I with England's twatty footballers, I didn't really care when we went out this evening. My hope is that this will serve as a reality check to our overhyped Premier League, but it won't.

I am even a bit sick of the cricketers - Harmison really pisses me off. Talks about being homesick all the time. I sometimes think how much I wanted to be a cricketer and it makes me feels sick when I think of Harmison.

I may as well get some other things off my chest:

1. Stop asking me if I am on Facebook. Facebook is shit.
2. Could academics please stop trying to sell me things?
3. The NHS nearly killed my mate last weekend
4. Can we stop talking about house prices - if you only own one and you want to stay in London then rationally you should want housing to come down in price
5. HMRC lost 25m records. I blame the consultants. In fact, this is worth its own post.

A good life

I spent Friday evening surrounded by Russian models drinking champagne in one of London's 'top nightspots' with a friend of mine who picked up the bill for the whole night (which must have been £4k of cheese). In America, one of my finest friends has just purchased this car and is enjoying pimping it up at various trendy OC hangouts.

Meanwhile, I have given up my job and am carefully watching the pennies as I pursue what I consider a more 'meaningful' life.

One might suspect that these two versions of the good life are dichotomous. Indeed, a whole branch of psychology is now devoted to proving that happiness does not equal wealth.

Bizarrely, given my situation, increasingly I disagree. And AC Grayling, the philosopher disagrees too.

The good life is all about identifying what you are on earth for. This is not some unified version of goodness, but a complex, sometimes contradictory set of factors unique to each individual. Money has a place in this, because it buys freedom, choices and things that reinforce our identity.

All I am arguing is that this is the right identity being reinforced.

I am not advocating pursuing wealth as a means of happiness. I am advocating pursuing wealth with the acknolwedgement that this is unlikely to be enough by itself to be happy. Just as going off to work with orphans is unlikely, by itself, to make many of us happy. It's a question of thinking about what you want from life, prioritising your time around your own values, creating a balance reflective of your goals, utilising your highest strengths, and taking the time to think about what you might want to look back on when you're on your death bed.

It isn't duty versus pleasure, but working out how to integrate these concepts which truly makes for 'a good life'.

Announcement 2:

In answer to Jon's question, and after significant thought and consultation, cheese will henceforth be called:

'Dairyglee'.

Thank you.

Announcement:

I shall henceforth, at all times, refer to money as 'cheese'.

Thank you.

Tonight...

I celebrate my love for you

Time marches on

It was my birthday this week. I think as you get older you begin to realise some pretty fundamental few truths about your life. One of these truths which struck me this week was that I will never, under any circumstances, be able to say the following and for it to be true:

"Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers"

And that seems a shame.

The psychology of...persuasion

One of the main marketing tools I want to create for the new business is a series of one page notes on the psychology of various psychological constructs. For example, the psychology of happiness, motivation, decision making, persuasion.

The article here is an example of the sort of insights psychology offers to everyday life. I certainly found it illuminating and instinctively knew it was true.

Like many self help books, psychology often states the bleeding obvious. But I'm fascinated by it because at its best it genuinely illuminates the things we should be trying to focus on.

In this case, the psychologist describes the nature of persuasion, and outlines how we can all improve our powers of persuasion. Something I imagine we could all do with knowing.

Don't miss out.