But I am ashamed of my fingers. They have all been broken at least once, and one of them I didn't even bother to fix and now it's bent. They are all fat and stubby like chipolatas. But godammit, where would I be without them? Eh? I'd have to get an enormous laptop with huge keys so I could type with my elbows, that's where. Or get one of those voice synthesisers like Prof. Hawking. Not my style. I'd want one with the voice of Sid James or Keith Chegwin, but Texas Instruments don't do them.
In honour of my sausage fingers, here is a list of my favourites, in order:
1. Index
2. Middle
3. Little
4. Thumb
5. That other one
4 comments:
I need a full rundown of the top ten. Left and right.
1. Index (right)
2. Index (left)
3. Middle (right)
4. Little (right)
5. Middle (left)
6. Little (left)
7. Thumb (left)
8. Thumb (right)
9. That other one (left)
10. That other one (right)
It's a shame that your feet, which you're quite chuffed with, remain, for the most part, concealed in footwear, while your saucisses hands are on public display. Perhaps a willing surgeon could switch them, giving you the opportunity to show them off a bit more (and swing upside-down from trees).
This is an important suggestion and I thank you.
* thumbs Yellow Pages *
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